


Medicine

by LaughingThalia



Series: Shorts and One-Shots [8]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Brainwashing, Hydra (Marvel), Past Mind Control, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-12 07:43:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7926355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaughingThalia/pseuds/LaughingThalia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><div class="center">
  <p>--Song fic based on the song Medicine by Daughter.--</p>
  <p>---Bucky's finally free but he's guilt ridden. Steve tries to convince him it's not his fault.---</p>
</div>
            </blockquote>





	Medicine

**Author's Note:**

> I suggest listening to the song first if you haven't already.  
> LINK: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OB87Pgf_8cs&list=PLb1G36JZhg7aEIZcah0eduzb57hSG0a36&index=54

## Medicine

**_Pick it up, pick it all up._ **

**_And start again._ **

**_You've got a second chance, You could go home._ **

**_Escape it all._ **

**_It's just irrelevant._ **

He picked up the arm that Stark had ripped off. Stark. He had to keep reminding himself this was _Tony_   Stark not Howard. Howard was dead. He had killed him. Murdered him in cold blood. No wonder Tony had been so mad at him, The Soldier-Bucky couldn't blame him for that. Bucky. The name still felt foreign on his tongue despite how easily it slipped from Captain America's lips. He was starting to remember more and more about Steve, his best friend, his home. He had best friend. Steve would do anything for him, they could go on the run maybe be vigilantes, or just give it up be _normal_ for once in his life.

**_It's just medicine._ **

**_It's just medicine._ **

**'** _The killing. The murder. Howard Stark. None of it was his fault'_ he recited to himself for the millionth time. It was Hydra. Hydra pumped him full of chemicals to keep him alive, kept him frozen on ice, kept him around for decades to do their killing, to kill Howard and Maria, to kill Steve even.

**_You could still be,_ **

**_What you want to,_ **

**_What you said you were,_ **

**_When I met you._ **

“Bucky.” “I'm not Bucky anymore.” “Well you're certainly not The Soldier!” Steve grabbed his shoulders and it took all of his will not to slam him into the ground. It was true he _wasn't_ The Winter Soldier any more, no longer forced to their bidding. But he couldn't stomach the name Bucky. Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes. “Could you just call me Barnes? Or James?” Steve smiled sadly, the light didn't reach his eyes like it should “Yeah okay. James it is.” James wanted to hit himself, he was upsetting Steve, the one guy who hadn't given up on him for 70 years and he wouldn't even let him call him Bucky. “You know... James... You're not so different that you don't deserve the name Bucky.” James head snapped up to look at him slightly confused “I know it's not really the same thing but... but I know how you feel. When I woke up in the 21st century I couldn't take it. Everything was different, I didn't think I even deserved the name Captain America I was such a mess. I wouldn't leave the old SHIELD bunkers or I guess they're SSR bunkers.”

**_You've got a warm heart,_**

**_You've got a beautiful brain._ **

**_But it's disintegrating,_ **

**_From all the medicine._ **

**_From all the medicine._ **

**_From all the medicine._ **

**_Medicine._ **

“What you've done over the decades, they- they were terrible yes, but they weren’t you. I know you. You wouldn't have done any of that stuff.” Steve continued “But I did Steve! I did do all that stuff!” Bucky all but yelled, hands shaking as the memories whirled through his head. “No that was Hydra!” “It was my body Steve. My hands putting together gun after gun and shooting people down like they were just moving targets!” _Steve getting beat up in an alley way and him saving his sorry ass. Steve saving him from a nazi base along with 200 other soldiers. Steve reaching out his hand as he fell off the train mouth open yelling his name. Steve disappearing from view as he fell right back into the clutches of Hydra. And then it was just a mesh of blood and death wrought by him. “You were brainwashed! You were manipulated and tortured and coerced into doing whatever you've done.”_

**_You could still be_ **

**_What you want to be_ **

**_What you said you were,_ **

**_When you met me._ **

“You're still you Buck.” Steve's voice softened from yelling to almost a whisper “You're a good person. And a hero. You – you- you're my best friend.”

**_You could_ _still be_ **

**_What you want to_ **

**_What you said you were,_ **

**_When I met you_ **

**_When you met me._ **

**_When I met you._ **

He could still be what he wants to be. He had free will again. What did I want to be? A soldier? A hero? Steve's best friend? He thought back to when he and Steve were just kids. When they first met. When Steve's parents died of some sickness. When his own mother took Steve in even though his father had died too. When had protected Steve from bullies and dangers. “I just want to protect you. That's what I want to do.” The word 'want' felt weird on his tongue. He hadn't 'wanted' anything in so long the feeling was almost alien to him. Steve smiled at him again, this time the spark reached his eyes, the glittered, whether with tears or euphoria was hard to tell but he was happy and that was all that mattered to Bucky. “Well you can't protect me if we're both dead, or in jail. Let's get out of here. And so the two World War II soldiers left an unconscious Ironman on the floor with a shield shaped hole in his chest plate.


End file.
